I am having a serious literary debate with my editor regarding Point of View (POV). Rhonda is the focus and Protagonist in my trilogy and therefore should receive a lioness’ share of the attention. I also believe there are places along the storyline where the guys can add some valuable insight and male perspective. I have written Liberating Rhonda as an Adult Romance and included some raciness and sensuality along the way. When Rhonda meets Marc the sparks fly on both sides. The flow of attraction and sensuality goes back and forth, from her to him and return.
I wrote it that way because I believe its how it happens in real life. He touches her…or gives her a compliment, which she receives, considers mentally or emotionally or both, and responds. Her response is the catalyst for his reaction, consideration, and corresponding reaction, back and forth. To me its better to change the POV back and forth at the same time in order to give an immediate view inside both of their heads. The intriguing concept to me is the difference between how she sees and feels about a tender word…a kiss…a smile, and how he perceives it, because the two views are frequently different.
If I document what Rhonda does and how she feels about him while they are making out for ten minutes from her perspective, then shift to his point of view either his responses during those ten minutes before are not addressed and lost, or he is going over old news reviewing activities out of sync from the prior time and don’t flow with the scene. I have not figured out a way to make it flow naturally, doing it ten minutes or a page or two earlier. I don’t know if there IS a way at this point.
I’ve learned that when the action is going hot and heavy too many thoughts and feelings can get in the way. I have changed a lot of internal thoughts into narration but now I believe there’s too much narrative and not enough dialog so I’m going to shift some narrative into dialog wherever possible. I like dialog in general and believe it makes the characters come alive and POP ! There’s a Lot of work to be done before the new version is ready. I am learning and its a slow process.